Four Warnings About a Rebound Relationship

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When we were at school and used to gossip about who was going out with who, we would always smirk when we talked about a rebound relationship. This was because a rebound relationship had little chance of success. We were right but we never really asked ourselves why!

The main reason is of course that there may be some debris lying around from the previous relationship. This debris may not have been cleared up or dealt with. That is simply why so many of these relationships fail.

A rebound relationship can be a quick fix and as such may be built on sand. Let us look for the moment at the protagonists. Let us say that the person who actually ended the previous affair did so for very valid reasons and thought the whole thing through very carefully. Having a rebound relationship with a person like this is much less risky because this person has been able to analyse what was wrong and is ready to move on.

But what about the person who was dumped ? She or he is going through a period of grief and is full of revenge (which is anything but sweet!). Starting to date a person like this who is on the rebound is quite frankly full of risks. The person may be desperate for company and therefore much more liable to fall deeply in love with you, just for that reason. This is where caution is advised. Very often, this sudden surge of emotional dependence is the reason why a new rebound relationship can flounder, quite simply because the new partner can feel somewhat overwhelmed by the rush and intensity of events and feelings.

The new partner may feel that he or she is filling a gap and the fact of being a couple is taking precedence over the real love for the individual person which is the foundation of any relationship.

If you find that you are attracted to a person who is recovering from a recent break up, especially after being dumped and still shows some of the wounds, here are four warnings.

1. Take things nice and slowly and make sure you find out that they are really interested in you as a person and not so much in the fact that you are a couple or an 'item'. Ask about previous relationships and what happened.

2. Encourage the person coming out of the previous relationship to work through any residues of revenge, bitterness, grief and any other emotions they may be feeling.

3. Everyone needs to work through grief but not everybody will emerge a stronger person at the end of it.

4. If you are really interested in the person who is emerging from a broken relationship, keep in contact but also encourage them to date again. if this relationship is going to work for both of you, it will happen but only when and if the person who has rebounded has worked through all the emotions and feelings and is ready to move on with you. This is the best way that a rebound relationship can work for you.

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Robert William Locke has 1 articles online

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Four Warnings About a Rebound Relationship

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This article was published on 2010/03/27
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